Why I Stopped Singing!

Do you LOVE to SING, but at some point you STOPPED?

Then this is a MUST READ!!

Singing is so innate within me that I’ve been doing it since I was .01 years old, that I made a career of it for the last 8 years of my life, and now I’m told I sing daily, without knowing.  I never understood why people who love to sing, and especially those with a natural gift for vocalizing, STOPPED SINGING!?!

But recently I stopped.  I stopped so hard, that I could stop forever.

Now I get it.

My excuse:  It’s not that I love it any less.  Or that it awakens any fears within me as it does for many.   It’s just that, to sing my best – put my best vocal chords forward (and I won’t settle for less) – I have to work at it everyday.  And undergoing an intense move across the country, huge life transitions, and needing an overall break, I put my practice on the back-burner.

Do I miss practicing?  NO.

Do I miss performing, and singing for people?  YES. YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE IT!!

But even though I miss singing,
I see that I’m at the crossroads many retired singers have encountered.  

Road 1 focus on business and other things in life that are lucrative right off the bat.  Sing from time to time, but nothing serious.

Road 2 SING.  Because it’s what I want to do.  Focus on everything that brings me joy in the world, the main being singing, find musicians to play with, start rehearsing, and get back on that stage.

Road 1 = work.

Road 2 = work, determination, persistence, risk-taking, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual stamina.

Are you starting to understand why many singers stop singing and performing?  Taking road 1 in so many ways is so much easier than road 2.

Lucky for me, I’m just too determined to stop because I know that singing is my medicine.  It produces pleasure and healthy endorphins for myself and others.  I’m willing to put in the time, energy, work, light and life into my practice.

And I’m excited to get back on stage, where I’ll introduce myself as: 

Afterall, I’ve got a lot of VOICE to share.


You probably do IF:
-You’ve got melodies or words inside just waiting to come out
-You save your singing for the shower, car, or other places people can’t hear you
-Or if you use alcohol-induced kareoke as the only comfortable method to share your voice

And that’s OK!  The path to return to singing (we all sang as children) doesn’t have to be scary.  It can be amazing, beautiful, and even… FUN!  And recognizing that you want to sing, or that you have a lack of singing in your life is the first step.  Then, you must take action.

I will be happy to support your vocal renewal.  Sign up for my newsletter (on the right), or send a private E-mail.  Whatever feels good to you, in your own time.  KNOW YOU ARE SUPPORTED.  The more people singing, the better off the world will be.  Yes.  That is true.

Please let me know if what you read struck a chord

Leave a comment below with your singing fears and dreams.

And share this on Facebook, Twitter, or with a friend who has stopped singing.   

, , , , , , , , , ,

11 Responses to Why I Stopped Singing!

  1. Jared January 19, 2012 at 4:41 AM #

    Hello World Music Songstress,

    I agree many of us don’t take the time to feed our inspiration.

    I love making music. I took one semester of voice lessons in collage and sang in the quire for half a semester. I really enjoyed it but that was it. We don’t sing at home around the fire like our ancestors. How can we as a culture revive this joy?

    You are doing a good thing for all of us. We need to follow in your footsteps. I am interested in helping any way I can. Please feel free to call on me if you need anything.

    A reviving singer,


  2. Aviva Rosenbloom January 19, 2012 at 10:57 PM #

    I have a LOT to say on this subject, but…I have to vocalize now.
    That’s it in a nutshell.

  3. Marie R. January 19, 2012 at 11:03 PM #


    As usual, your news is happy and thought provoking. As a person who is going through a much more grounded phase of my life than some I’ve been through right now, I would like to shout out from the far, brighter side of the pasture to anyone who is looking on these choices with trepidation: it’s so worth it, no matter what your media is. Having joined a warm and wonderful chorus group in this community, and feeling confident with my voice itself again, I’m finally back to tackling the separate skill of becoming comfortable on stage in front of an audience. Not a singing-day goes by where I don’t reflect on the work we did in LA and remind myself that my fears are only my fears, they do not own or control my thoughts or actions in any way. I’m looking forward to sharing this with people in my life who are rediscovering their voice, or finding it for the first time.

    Thanks as always,

  4. DIna Bandhu (Daniel Harris) January 20, 2012 at 5:23 AM #

    Ariella, this definitely struck a chord. I read this mail because it was so captivating by its title. That crossroads you described was very vivid. I think I am already susscribed to you, but I admit I rarely ‘have the time’ to read them. I still sing, and I will be more conscious of it now to start with.

  5. Maren January 31, 2012 at 7:03 PM #

    Beautiful message, Ariella!

  6. Gae February 5, 2012 at 11:52 AM #

    Very thought provoking questions. Singing for others to hear implies a judgement might occur, which then involves risk. We often take risks, but in areas that we can readily understand and predict the outcome. OR..are only willing to sing where we are surrounded by loved ones. Somehow, singing with people we love deeply allows the instrument to open completely and your true sound is released. Hmmmm….your thoughts give me pause

  7. natan February 13, 2012 at 7:26 AM #

    greetings and blessings..dear Ariella,..
    i think..(probably too much!), that it is good to bear in mind that it is all a gift..each breath..movement, relationships..etc.. the muse of music is powerful medicine..for wellness, aliveness, beyond words..so remember: tones, and drones, songs and melodies as spiritual practice..go share your gifts..encourage your fellow beings to sing their hearts open..clap their hands..rejoice..dance..be still..
    as a professional musician for many years..my chops are not what they used to be..(nothing is)..but the peace and inner harmony from chanting a sacred melody..continues to nurture my soul with joy-us song..cheers..best wishes..and while the breath is within you..Sing and smile ! xox

  8. Shichu March 21, 2012 at 3:18 AM #

    You can’t sing exactly like Beyonce because you are not Beyonce. Just like you can’t sing like Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Jennifer Hudson, or Christina Aguilera because you are not them. Those are their voices. She’s not saying literally nobody else can sing as good because she’s unique. She’s saying we all have our own unique voices and when you learn to sing you will be amazing in your own unique way because it’s your voice.

  9. Vela October 4, 2016 at 9:46 PM #

    I love yo sing…I make people cry when I just let go, but singing and heartache and pain and expressing my fears have such a deep connection now, I feel borderline traumatized every time I sing….it feels amazing to just jam and then I remember I can’t ever get that song back…don’t remember what I sang…it’s like something comes over me and it’s amazing and then I forget. I song write, but I’m not a good enough musician to be satisfied with my own accompaniment…I don’t know how I got to this place. It makes me very depressed. I’m great at mind over matter in other areas of life, but this hurts so much…like I’ve abandoned the person I was purposed to be, so I avoid practicing and writing as much as I could. Any words of encouragement?

    • Ariella November 4, 2016 at 10:29 AM #

      Dear Vela – there are no instant words that I can share, but this is my life’s work – singing from my soul and helping others do the same. Maybe you’ll find inspiration at my website (and/or consider working with me). Sending lots of love!! Ariella

      Website: https://www.ariellaapproach.com

  10. Name Witheld April 6, 2018 at 6:16 AM #

    Hi Ariella, I used to be an active performer in my early 20’s singing covers of my favorite Japanese songs. I even used to upload them in YouTube. However, I quit almost 3 years ago after losing devastatingly in the national leg of an Asia-wide Japanese singing contest, thinking that no one really liked my efforts. I really feel bitter with myself, even until today, I still feel really sad just thinking about it. I actually thought of going back, but I don’t want to tell people about it because they will probably just mock me. I abandoned my YouTube channel and might create a different one, but I don’t even want to show myself again. I became really afraid of performing again publicly after that incident. What do you think I should do? 🙁 If you will reply via my email maybe I could take a piece of advice. Thanks

Leave a Reply