It happens to the best of us… on our best days.
We care what others think.
Let’s not fault ourselves for it. We were trained by society at a young age to act, look, be, and do things a certain way.
Any way outside of what society deems “good” can induce shame, embarrassment, guilt, or fear within the deepest crevices of our minds.
So as an Empowerment Coach who helps people release self-consciousness and confidently SHINE on stage, I see people’s insecurities pop up all the time.
And just as clearly, I catch myself when my own insecurities arise.
For example: Clients often get self-conscious the moment I ask them to sing or professionally speak in front of me for the first time; no matter their level of experience.
Though I can’t just put this on my clients.
While they’re worrying about what I think of them, I’m often thinking:
“I hope they like how I’m coaching, and that this session is extremely impactful and transformative for them.”
It’s when I release my expectations of their transformation so that I get present with the moment, that I can then best help them let go of their own fears and self-consciousness, thus, transform before their very own eyes.
1- While you’re worrying about what others are thinking, others are worrying about what you’re thinking. We’re all spending too much time worrying, and not enough time BEING ourselves (even the best of us, on our best days)!
2- Practice letting go of expectations of self. This creates newfound freedoms around our habits, looks, self-expression, and really, every ounce of us!
3- Note that this is a process. Sometimes it happens over night and other times it happens over the course of time. Either time segment is perfect. The phrase that resonates with many clients (excuse my French) is:
“Don’t give a shit about what others think!”
They suddenly GET IT.
The experience of “not giving a shit about what others think” is ours to behold, but can take some time to fully embody. If we set that intention and allow ourselves to let go of worry, fumble back into worry, let go again, care again, let go again, and then truly let go one more time, our confidence will rise oodles and oodles, enabling us to be the rock stars of our lives!
This is extremely possible!
In the box below, let us know, about what part of your self have you assumed others are thinking? What would your life be like if you let go of those cares?
Elaborate, please. It’ll be liberating!
We support you in letting go!!
Great post! I use this frequently with myself 🙂 I was taught that the way others perceived you is very important so I have always been a huge worrywart when it came to these things. Over the past few years though I have really worked hard at training myself out of it. Now I tell myself “You are not what others think of you. You are a child of God. Now go forth and shine.”
It might sound a little corny, but I have a strong personal relationship with God and it really helps me relax and get out of my own way and let God work through me instead of trying to control what everyone else is thinking about me.
Laura ~ I love the work you’ve done with yourself… and that you allow God to work through you. That to me, sounds like, you’re ALLOWING yourself to be guided by what feels right to you, and there is no greater doing than allowing. Thank you for sharing!
When I get dressed for work in the morning I sometimes wear things that are unusual and not entirely comfortable for me, in other words people might notice, disapprove or think poorly of me. Then as I am walking to work and I notice feeling a little unsure of what I am wearing, I just laugh and think what do I care what anyone thinks and have fun with my orange shoes and socks!
Meg ~ There must be a small part of you that wants to sport orange shoes and socks (’cause you know you’re/they’re awesome), otherwise, why would you even own them? I love your snazzy ways, and think it’s so amazing that you own them, even if it takes you some time to get there. That is really setting an amazing example for others! Thank you!
“The minute I stopped caring about what other people thought and started doing what I wanted to do is the minute I finally felt FREE.”
I totally agree with you. I put it this way. “You can never make significant progress in your own life, if you pay much attention to what other people think about you”
People will always have their own opinion, that shouldn’t bother or stop you
Love it… and love “The Language of Desire!”