How to Change

I wouldn’t say CHANGING – either thought patterns or habits – is easy, but I’m clear that both you and I can choose to change any time.

Evolving as a human takes self-discipline and self-love.

How do I know so much about change?

As a Vocal Empowerment Coach, I work with people’s minds just as much as, if not more than their voices.  I’ve also been on a path of spiritual growth and evolving consciously for 11 years.

I’ve metamorphosed numerous times, and have been fortunate to watch many others change in small and large ways.


In my commitment to self-growth, and to guiding others through it, here’s what I’ve learned about CHANGING and EVOLVING:

1- It takes a minimum of 21 days to shift a neural pathway in the brain – responsible for how we think and act – from taking one course, to creating a new one. However, most of us shy away from switching to a new habit (such as exercise or meditation) or thought pattern (such as self-love rather than self-loathing) after 1-2 weeks of trying to develop our new habit. Thus, in the moments of wanting to ‘give up’ because it’s uncomfortable, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves, AND stay the course.
2- Patience: I cannot change overnight, and attempting to do so is crazy-making. So patience is really really important.
3- Self-love, self-trust, self-respect: All integral to evolving as humans.
4- A support system is also really helpful. I have friends I can call, and also people I can ask to help hold me accountable to myself.  Reach out and ask for support in ways that feel comfortable to you.  Be willing to take a risk when asking.  Most people in our lives want to support us!
5- Faith: Whether it be in G!d or in self, or both, faith and trust are deeply important on the path of self-growth.
6- Flexible Timelines: It’s great to have goals. They enable us to get from point A to point B. But sometimes things evolve in their own time, and if it doesn’t happen in the time our mind has devised for it, it’s good to remember that as long as we ‘stay the course,’ and are open to variations of outcomes that will benefit who we are, it will absolutely happen.
7- Unlimited Expectation: While it’s good to have specific goals, it’s also good to be open to shifting into someone even more wondrous than we could imagine. An open mind + open heart are a winning combo.
8- Letting go:  I mean letting go in two different ways. The first, being letting go of expectations, and allowing yourself to simply be with whatever outcome occurs.

The second, is letting go of the concept of self. What do I mean by that? Remembering that all of who you know yourself to be has been sculpted by your mind in response to society, to how you were raised, and to the world around you + whatever innate wisdom you feel you have (soul, source, etc.).

For a moment, consider ‘letting go’ of your interests, your thoughts, the titles that define you (Mr., Mrs., Dr., student, teacher, citizen, even… your name.) Breathe for a moment, having let go of your whole identity. Simply feel your breath from this selfless place for a moment.

To get clear on who we desire to become, it is healthy and helpful to sometimes to let go of who we created ourselves to be; to remember that our current self-identity is a construct of our very elaborate minds.

This experience also connects us to the oneness that is…

And this perspective, that separates the ego from the self, makes changing and evolving deeply possible.

Desire to change and evolve?
Want to become a new you?
Want to set New Year’s Resolutions and see them through?
You can do this.

I believe in me.
And I believe in you.
Stay the course.

Please connect below and let me know:  What is one of the ways you’ve clearly changed and evolved in your life, and what do you remember being helpful in the transformation?

You may also share your New Year’s Resolutions.  The sharing of them for other’s to witness is often powerful in their unfolding. 



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10 Responses to How to Change

  1. Amanda B December 30, 2014 at 8:05 PM #

    Love it, I have majorly changed my diet, and it was major to me although others might not agree. I found it so important to really decide why I was doing something. It never worked for me to want to LOOK a certain way, I had to clearly define my goals. Something that is too broad meant never achieving it because I never knew what it meant to be successful. When my goals to simply, clear and concise I was able to get where I was going, make lasting changes and progress to helping other makes change!

    • Songstress Ariella January 2, 2015 at 11:49 AM #

      I love this Amanda. And congratulations for getting really clear, specific, and successfully changing your diet. It really is amazing how much we can do and achieve, but we do have to be specific and set clear intentions in a way that resonates for us. 🙂 Woohoo!

  2. Debbie Goode December 30, 2014 at 10:05 PM #

    I know the new year is upon us, but I really have not thought about what my ‘resolution’ will be for the upcoming year. I found your post very insightful and it definitely has me thinking about who I am and who I would like to be……

    • Songstress Ariella January 2, 2015 at 11:50 AM #

      Awesome, Debbie. Glad my words inspired you. I also spoke with a friend who didn’t set any goals, and I thought that was neat. Sometimes just ’cause everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean it resonates with us! 🙂

  3. Elda December 30, 2014 at 10:49 PM #

    I appreciated your comment on taking the risk to ask others for help and how they want to support us. I have in the past resisted created a support system thinking I needed to show I could do this or that on my own. I have now found this to be true, “people want to be there for me to support me or cheer me on”!

    • Songstress Ariella January 2, 2015 at 11:52 AM #

      Thanks Elda. Everyone is different, but when I have people outside of myself supporting me, routing me on and asking me how it’s going, I thrive much more when making changes and living in general! Happy New Year!

  4. muminsearch January 2, 2015 at 4:49 AM #

    Remembering that it takes time is a big thing for me. I tend to get bored quickly after trying something for a few days and it still takes conscious effort! But that’s the way it should be. It takes longer than that before it stops taking my mind space and becomes automatic.

    • Songstress Ariella January 2, 2015 at 11:53 AM #

      I hear you! I do believe it doesn’t take that long. We just have to get over that 1-4 day hump where resistance shows up. We can do it!! 🙂

  5. Lily Lau January 16, 2015 at 1:49 PM #

    I like changes, they can be so challenging! Of course I like to be in my safe zone and I resist to believe some things have changed, but I try to stay always positive!

    • Songstress Ariella January 16, 2015 at 4:25 PM #

      Agreed Lily – changes can be challenging. They can also be invigorating/enlivening! It’s good to stay positive, but negativity has its place…. sounds like you’re rocking this ‘being human’ experience!!! Keep goin’ 🙂

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